I suppose that everyone have a more or less clear idea of who they are and who they want to be. One of my greatest fears is that I will stop seeing myself one day and become who I don’t want to be. I have always been interested in how other people feel and I know that it is a genuine interest coming right from my heart, with His guidance. I have seen a lot of people who are very careless towards other human beings and they tend to have a ‘good excuse’ why it is so-‘I have been hurt enough, I have to protect myself.’. I believe it shouldn’t be so but it seems it can be so very easy, just not to care. I have prayed many times not to start seeing things this simple. It has gotten much better after I became a whole person through Him but I guess that this fear of failing my expectations of who I want to be will always be there. I’m really trying to work on piercing this comfortable bubble that everybody have around them and try reflect what others have to say (about me). It’s often very hard to hear and it doesn’t have to be the truth necessarily but I see over and over again that it really helps me. Either to realise that I have come of of the Grace path, or just to get confirmed that I’m moving in the direction I want. I’m having a hard time sometimes to distinguish whether the critique I receive is justified or not, especially when it comes from a person who is very close to me.
I was really down the other day but He was there and helped me to figure the whole dilemma out. He guides me to come out of things deeply in touch with my real self and stronger.
Every time, this feeling lasts a bit longer.
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