As I stated in my first blog (Click here to read it). I will be sharing my journey to the end of myself and into God's amazing rest. As the scripture says ".. there remains a rest to the people of God. For he who has entered into his rest, he also has ceased from his own works, as God did from His." (Hebrews 4:9-10 MKJV). God had gotten my attention when He pointed out that pride was a root cause of my problem. This I found hard to accept, as I did not consider myself a proud person. I however conceeded and asked God to show me in what ways, I was proud.

Rather than give me a direct answer, He began to show me certain truths from the bible that revealed an underlying philosophy by which I ran my life. It centered around the concept that I was in charge of my life and I only turn to God when I got stuck(which was often). Here are some of the scriptures He showed me:

1. "I know, GOD, that mere mortals can't run their own lives, That men and women don't have what it takes to take charge of life." (Jeremiah 10:23 MSG)

2. "Trust in the LORD and do good; live in the land and be safe. Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in him, and he will help you;"(Psalms 37:3-5 GNB)

3. "Remember how the LORD your God led you on this long journey through the desert these past forty years, sending hardships to test you, so that he might know what you intended to do and whether you would obey his commands. He made you go hungry, and then he gave you manna to eat, food that you and your ancestors had never eaten before. He did this to teach you that you must not depend on bread alone to sustain you, but on everything that the LORD says." (Deuteronomy 8:2-3 GNB)

4. "And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left." (Isaiah 30:21 MKJV)

I began to learn that God never intended me to live independent of Him. It was not His intention for me to self direct my life and then cry out to Him after I had messed things up. He wanted me to hand my life over to Him completely. To trust Him with everything, lock, stock and barrel(see poem below). He will then direct me in the way that He wants me to go. I began to change my attitude and trust Him with more and more areas of my life.

Gave myself to Him piece meal

Had a spiritual side

And a secular one

One for Him the other for me

Needless to say I made a mess of mine

So I did the smart thing

I gave it all to Him

Lock, stock and barrel

I hold nothing back

I put it all in His hands

No longer handing over

One piece at a time

But everything together

Nothing missing

I handed it all over

Lock, stock and barrel

So His blessings flow

From the bottom right to the top

His life filling all in all

All is safe and secure

In His rock steady hands

None, will He let fall

As He holds them all

Lock, stock and barrel

My heart began to say " If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you. Point out the road I must travel; I'm all ears, all eyes before you." (Psalms 143:8 MSG)

(To be continued...)

Click here to read part 3

To view others instalments in the series, click here