I just felt like posting the fact that I have an anger problem with my mom. One minute I'm believing I'm a new creature in Christ, and Jesus' life is in me, and I am no longer a slave to sin, I live life being myself in Jesus, etc. But then I lash out and argue as soon as soon as she mouths off. I can deal with it for a few words no problem, but there is a certain point I get to where I lose control of myself and it simply comes out. I yell, I want revenge, I feel I'm justified in my anger while I'm angry, and it feels so good to let it out because she irritates me worse than anything sometimes. But when it's over I feel ashamed, I feel I have no right to call myself a Christian, the doubt creeps it's head in "You don't really have the Spirit of God..just look at how sinful you are."
I know it's all lies, so it's not that big a deal. But if I don't quickly fight it with the gospel and God's truth, it grows and grows. It can wear someone down if they aren't careful. The devil will start telling you all these lies that you will never be fruitful this happened because you aren't trying hard enough, you aren't having enough faith, etc. But then God's grace speaks to me and reminds me that Abraham waited over 20 years for his promised son. People who hold the gospel in an honest and good heart bear fruit with patience. We are God's workmanship and He is able to change us anyway He wants. He is our Creator and our Father, and we are in His hands, and He tells us His grace is sufficient for us. His strength is made perfect our weakness.
Then you're filled with thanksgiving and if you could, you would latch your arms around Him and never let go and never quit saying thank you. What mother or father loves their children based on their behavior? How much more does the perfect Father love us even when we're misbehaving?
One fruit you see from the beginning is patience. Patience in bearing fruit. Patience with our own sinfulness, with the ability to say as Charles Spurgeon said, "Thou art not saved because thou art righteous".
Let the Creator, your Father fix you. It is His job to fix His broken creation. And He does this in ways we don't expect or understand. Just keep the love of Jesus in your heart. Trust Him, and out of your heart will flow rivers of living water.
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