A few years ago I was convinced that faith belongs to the weak. As silly as that might sound now, I thought that to believe in God is a way how to avoid responsibility over one’s actions and indulge in guilt over one’s shortcomings and sins. I’ve heard left and right that God ‘punishes’ people for this and that, that this is a sin and that is wrong. However I knew, deep in my heart, that there must be another side to this, that there MUST be another end to the story. Because I knew there is something I desperately miss and can’t seem to find, and although I was lost in darkness, I felt that what I might find just can’t be bad. I’m so grateful that now, after a time of very turbulent ‘conversations’ with Him going on silently in my head, I know that He doesn’t signify judgement, shame and guilt. Ever since I realized that I can rely on Him and His encouragement and forgiveness without inhibition, I only grew stronger-and more independent, by far not the other way round. I know that I have talked about this before, but imagine!! I’m a free person now and I think that will always be a big miracle for me. The greatest gift.

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