Love cannot be kept it can only be given away.

From the writings of Thomas Merton

A happiness that is sought for our ourselves alone can never be found: for happiness that is diminished by being shared is not big enough to make us happy. There is a false momentary happiness in self-satisfaction, but always leads to sorrow because it narrows and darkens our spirit. True happiness is found in unselfish love, a love which increases in proportion as it is shared. There is no end to the sharing of love, and therefore, the potential of such love is without limit. Infinite sharing is the law of God’s inner-self. He has made the sharing of ourselves the law of our own being, so that it is in loving others that we best love ourselves. In disinterested activity we be fulfil our own capacities to act and to be.

Yet there can never be happiness in compulsion. It is not enough for love to be shared: it must be shared freely. That is to say that it must be given, not merely taken. Unselfish love that is poured out upon selfish objects do not bring perfect happiness: not because love requires a reward for loving but because it rests in the happiness of the beloved. And if the one loved receives the love selfishly, the lover is not satisfied. He sees that his love has failed ro make the beloved happy. It has not awakened his capacity for unselfish love.

The gift of love is the gift of power and the capacity to love, and therefore, to give love with full effect is also to receive it. So love can only be kept by giving it away, and can only be given perfectly when it is also received.

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